I sometimes wonder, how did you manage to survive so much loss and didn't let it harden your heart. I can't handle loss, it breaks me, it's one of my greatest fears.
Also I sometimes wonder, if you realise how extraordinarily beautiful you are. You are literally one of the most beautiful people out there. Beautiful, like a work of art.
Heartbreaking my dude. Virtual hugs. Loss is a currency I've dealt with and continue to deal with. The hurt becomes strength at some point, so I'm told and thats an idea I'm willing to hold onto. For now.
Mar 10, 2023·edited Mar 10, 2023Liked by Wesley Eisold
Thank you. As I said to my psychologist on one of our first meetings:
"Acknowledgment is key to recovery"
He wrote it down and thought I was onto something. I kinda felt like I should have gotten one on the house for that but hey I guess we are all out there trying to scratch an existence in the sand.
I guess what I mean to say is thanks for reading, hearing and you seem to understand what I was driving at. It's not something I'm use to and I am hurting real bad right now.
I'm the worst I've ever been in my life and its hard and it hurts but I truly believe that when this period reaches its conclusion, I will be stronger for it and be so far beyond what is hurting me now that I can look back and if not laugh (why laugh its not a joke), then certainly give the moment the silent respect it deserves, embrace the lesson and be a bigger better version of myself for it.
I have to believe that as it is after all another way of expressing or having HOPE. If I don't have hope, if I don't have something to believe in and something to aim for what do I have and why am I still here?
I lost a friend too, during the pandemic, she was my best friend actually, grief never ends, you just grow around it and learn to live with it.
Now, I’m glad someone writes about loss and grief openly. Somehow, death is like a taboo and no one talks about it and we all experience grief at some point.
Thanks for sharing something so deep and beautiful.
I’m sorry for your loss, I’m happy you were blessed to meet a kind soul. I wish I could of met him and ran down the beaches with both of you. Thank you for your writing.
Sorry for the loss of your two dear friends, Mark and Greg. However cliché it is, it does seem like people are in our lives for seasons. Some longer than others and never permanent. Love to workout as it turns off my brain and gets me out of me and has done so much for me mentally, physically and emotionally. Glad you are enjoying Peloton and the Morton workouts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Peace
Thanks to you for helping keep me alive, a depressed, down-trodden & defeated teen in Daytona Beach, FL years ago. I hated the sun then but I long for it sometimes now, living in Chicago. The grass is truly greener where the sun beats perpetually...
When I was smaller and coerced into religious rooms the men-because-it-was-never-women would all ways reiterate variations on a theme that whilst the righteous were indoors safe and warm with the father and son and holy ghost they should remember their adversary the devil was outside the door doing push-ups, which seemed even to much smaller me to bee very strangely athletic behavior for the magnifcent, capable, terrifying Devil eyes had read about in the malleus maleficarum and dreamt of in the pews regaled with tales of the supernatural and naturally Anton's "There is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised.” also came to mind reading all this.
Hi, for what it's worth - if father & son are meeting without women (bc they're not allowed) to hang out with a ghost, you can bet it's not a real one, let alone holy. or at the very least, a ghost they shouldn't be talking to right?.
Beautiful, always. I feel each and everyone one of your words, both written and sung.
Grief is an odd thing. Like love that has no where to go.
Lots of love and light 🖤
Lovely words. Read something similar the other day and it is a fitting way to describe grief.
This is so beautiful and heartbreaking.
I sometimes wonder, how did you manage to survive so much loss and didn't let it harden your heart. I can't handle loss, it breaks me, it's one of my greatest fears.
Also I sometimes wonder, if you realise how extraordinarily beautiful you are. You are literally one of the most beautiful people out there. Beautiful, like a work of art.
Wesley,
Heartbreaking my dude. Virtual hugs. Loss is a currency I've dealt with and continue to deal with. The hurt becomes strength at some point, so I'm told and thats an idea I'm willing to hold onto. For now.
Best wishes always.
Jay Phoenix. xx
Back at you
“The hurt becomes strength”. Wow. This is wildly true.
Thank you. As I said to my psychologist on one of our first meetings:
"Acknowledgment is key to recovery"
He wrote it down and thought I was onto something. I kinda felt like I should have gotten one on the house for that but hey I guess we are all out there trying to scratch an existence in the sand.
I guess what I mean to say is thanks for reading, hearing and you seem to understand what I was driving at. It's not something I'm use to and I am hurting real bad right now.
I'm the worst I've ever been in my life and its hard and it hurts but I truly believe that when this period reaches its conclusion, I will be stronger for it and be so far beyond what is hurting me now that I can look back and if not laugh (why laugh its not a joke), then certainly give the moment the silent respect it deserves, embrace the lesson and be a bigger better version of myself for it.
I have to believe that as it is after all another way of expressing or having HOPE. If I don't have hope, if I don't have something to believe in and something to aim for what do I have and why am I still here?
Thats all.
Jay Phoenix
We, as humans, evolve constantly so I believe you will come out of the other side of your hurt a stronger person.
Wishing you well 🖤
This is so sad and beautiful at the same time.
I lost a friend too, during the pandemic, she was my best friend actually, grief never ends, you just grow around it and learn to live with it.
Now, I’m glad someone writes about loss and grief openly. Somehow, death is like a taboo and no one talks about it and we all experience grief at some point.
Thanks for sharing something so deep and beautiful.
Thanks for sharing a beautiful little sliver of his life.. Be easy on the angels, Greg
Love The Mob
I wasn’t expecting to be as affected by this as I was, with tears welling up in my eyes at my desk during a lunch break.
The pain of loss no matter how unbearable is always worth it, regardless of how fleeting our time with someone was.
As someone with specific physical challenges, working out, like yourself, has helped center me.
We have the Peloton bike and the rower. The company is really so smart. My wife love’s Christine’s new wave and goth rides.
Thanks for sharing Wes.
I’m sorry for your loss, I’m happy you were blessed to meet a kind soul. I wish I could of met him and ran down the beaches with both of you. Thank you for your writing.
🙏
Sorry for the loss of your two dear friends, Mark and Greg. However cliché it is, it does seem like people are in our lives for seasons. Some longer than others and never permanent. Love to workout as it turns off my brain and gets me out of me and has done so much for me mentally, physically and emotionally. Glad you are enjoying Peloton and the Morton workouts. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Peace
Yes turns off the brain in a good way...
Beautiful read, saddening as well.
We must all push through the dark days.
Thanks to you for helping keep me alive, a depressed, down-trodden & defeated teen in Daytona Beach, FL years ago. I hated the sun then but I long for it sometimes now, living in Chicago. The grass is truly greener where the sun beats perpetually...
It's truly mutual.
Starting my Peloton journey soon, will definitely try a Denis Morton class! 🫶🏼
🌻
Greg lives on through you, and now all of us that learned his sweet story. 💙
When I was smaller and coerced into religious rooms the men-because-it-was-never-women would all ways reiterate variations on a theme that whilst the righteous were indoors safe and warm with the father and son and holy ghost they should remember their adversary the devil was outside the door doing push-ups, which seemed even to much smaller me to bee very strangely athletic behavior for the magnifcent, capable, terrifying Devil eyes had read about in the malleus maleficarum and dreamt of in the pews regaled with tales of the supernatural and naturally Anton's "There is a beast in man that should be exercised, not exorcised.” also came to mind reading all this.
Hi, for what it's worth - if father & son are meeting without women (bc they're not allowed) to hang out with a ghost, you can bet it's not a real one, let alone holy. or at the very least, a ghost they shouldn't be talking to right?.
Ha! Thank you, have you been talking to my friends?
They keep telling me the same thing.
It's hard to keep sight of that.
I am moving but still hurting.
I tell you one thing.
Closure is important.
I feel like I'm strong enough to handle any kind of truth even if it's not what I want to hear and the worst possible thing I can imagine.
It's being sideswiped from nowhere and thrown out of the party "unfriended" "blocked" erased without anything to go off, nothing, not a clue...
It's what keeps us running around in circles and THAT is hard.
How do you fix a broken part (thanks for the title Iggy) when we know not what that part is.
Jay xx
Training and physically exhausting myself has done more for mental health than anything else I’ve ever tried.
This resonates with me, a lot. 🖤